April 4, 2012 § Leave a comment
It’s a surprise how I’m still breathing…or is it only my imagination? The amount of stress piling onto my shoulders have surpassed on what I thought would be my limit. Now I survived, and still am in the process of surviving episodes of immense trial and error pains of what I’d like to call life. I’ve learned a lot – more than I asked for. Should I be proud of the hell life puts on me? Well, yes. It only makes me more immune to anger, shame, guilt, sorrow, sadness…the whole nine yards.
Desensitized. No other word in the English language could describe me any better. Could life be lived better like an emotionless robot? Could you imagine a world where no emotions exist – positive emotions, let alone the negative? You can’t feel happiness as a robot. I haven’t genuinely felt that way in quite some time. Maybe I am a robot, it’s just not confirmed yet.
I went grocery shopping at Whole Foods Market to buy ingredients for my Master Cleanse detox diet. You have no idea how hard it is to find Grade B maple syrup. ANYway, in the process of consuming nothing but water, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup, I felt pain. I couldn’t distinguish if it was physical hunger or my taste buds just craving food. Maybe both. But then I realized, the longer I put through with this strict diet, the better my results will be in the end. Willpower – that’s the answer. You get stronger and stronger the more you train yourself the feel pain, emotionally or physically. In the end, you realize how much you can accomplish. Over time, the experiences you once thought was terrible, may not be as terrible as when you initially experienced them. You don’t always have to view every unfortunate event in a dim light. View it as a way of putting yourself in an emotional detox diet.