Bullshit Love Story

May 15, 2011 § Leave a comment

I rummaged through old scraps for the incomplete novel I was writing a few months prior – not hoping for it to be published because there are plenty of rough edges. The following excerpt is the first draft of the novel that is yet to be named. It’s a typical love story about a girl wanting to get back with her ex. The beginning of the story describes Grace’s initial reaction when Damien breaks up with her. It’s written in first person.

        My heart drew cold, my fingers shaking uncontrollably. I have become lost in an unknown world – alone. I’ve lead my life in an aimless direction attempting to reach a destination I know I’ll never reach. I was hopeless.
        Damien broke it off on the phone after an intense argument. I don’t even recall what we even argued about. The only words that spoke the loudest and hammered my heart was when he yelled,”It’s over!” then he hung up.
        I lay motionless on my carpet reminiscing what just happened. “It is impossible.” I thought to myself.
         “Don’t ever call me again, Grace. I don’t want to hear from you!” His hurtful words would not stop replaying in my head. It’s like a broken tape recorder shooting bullets reminding me what I already experienced. In my isolated state, I can hear my unsteady breaths, my deafening heartbeat, yet feel a deep void in my chest. Am I still alive? I refused to process what happened. Not just yet…


Never Lower Your Standards

May 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

I was browsing through my Twitter account and a fascinating quote from @iDefineTruth captured my attention. I am a very loyal follower – all of his tweets get me through my day. But this quote specifically spoke to me.

“Never lower your standards to meet someone’s expectations.”

There have been many instances where I fell below my potential only to satisfy a temporary human appearing in my life. I only say “temporary” because most of my friendships hardly ever last. It is all I have ever known without my intention. I honestly do not have a high concern when an average friend comes and goes. After moving 7+ times throughout my childhood, I am a master at letting people go without any hard feelings. It’s like I went through an early stage of emotional boot camp forcing me to say permanent goodbyes. Moving was not so bad from my perspective – it was considered “normal”.

I really don’t have a solid foundation to write about this quote. The quote means what it says. It just reminds me to not dumb myself down for people in my life. Again.

Not a single person is worth taking away what your potential could be.

Where Am I?

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